


No Picnic

by Sela21k



Category: Stargate - All Series, Stargate SG-1
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-13
Updated: 2011-09-13
Packaged: 2017-10-23 17:32:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/252937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sela21k/pseuds/Sela21k
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Memorial day and the base is on lockdown cause of alien-virus</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Picnic

**Author's Note:**

> Memorial Day Fic prompt from l_jade.
> 
> Orig. Published: May 22, 2008

Although his back was to him, Daniel could feel Jack's angry stare aimed at his back. In an attempt at hummor, the younger man quipped, "You do know the cliche that 'looks that could kill' is merely a cliche, don't you?"

"Not according to the alien database that was downloaded into my brain," growled O'Neill on the other side of the curtain.

That stopped Daniel in mid-sentance and his brow wrinkled as he considered that point. "You're kidding, right?" he said with a short uncomfortable laugh.

"Do I sound like I'm kidding?" shot back from behind the curtain.

"Indeed you do not, O'Neill," agreed a very dry baritone from another direction of the imfirmary.

"Who asked you, Teal'c?" Daniel snapped angrilly.

"No one," Teal'c replied threateningly. "Which might have helped to avoid this situation if you had done so in the first place DanielJackson."

"Sir, Daniel could not have possiblly known -" a soft tenative offering from Carter was cut off in mid sentence.

"Which is why I said, 'Don't touch anything!." exploded O'Neill loudly. "Couldn't for once Daniel, just once, you could have done what I told you to do?!"

"But Jack -"

"Sir - "

"Ack!!" O'Neill squawked loudly. "Wrong answer!"

"Sir -" Carter ventured one more time.

"No Carter! No!" Daniel could heard an angry rustle as O'Neill came to his feet from sitting on the infirmary gurney. "I have had it with you, Daniel! If you so much as look at an alien device which we come across off world for more than a hot second, I swear I'm gonna shoot you first and ask questions later."

"That's not fair," Dainel whined piteously. "It's what we're sent out there to do."

"We're sent out there to find things, Daniel, not touch them!!"

Carter's exasperated voice attempted to break in once again. "That makes no sense, sir."

"Sense?! What makes no sense is that I'm going to be stuck here in the base infirmary for the first holiday weekend of the summer with YOU guys instead of on Siler's boat with my hands clutching a couple of plump meaty br-"

"Sir!"

"BRATWOURSTS! Carter! I was going to say BRAT - "

"It might not have been me that brought back the virus," Daniel protested.

"No it was you," growled O'Neill.

"We can't know that for sure, sir." Carter interjected angrlly.

"No, it was Daniel! It's always Daniel."

"It could have been me. Sometimes it's me, sir."

"So I'll shoot you, too, Carter. Don't think I won't shoot a woman. I've shot plenty of women."

"Oh for crying out loud!" Daniel snapped louder than he had planned to. "Jack -"

"Hey - that's my line and I don't want you to touch that either."

"Just get over it already!!"

"Excuse me?!"

"Just get over it already SIR!" Cater said sarcastically. "It's done, we're stuck here and that all it is to it."

"No, not all! If I don't stop glowing in the next 24 hours, I am going to shoot Daniel anyway - just because!"

"...and I will if he does not," came the quiet dark mutter.

"Oh shut up Teal'c!"

"I am just saying..."


End file.
